As I make my way through the Primary Courtyard at our Werribee Campus, I have to duck and weave through the countless games of Downball or Four Square! It’s fully competitive, yet still a fun buzz in the Primary School.
One particular morning, as I was making my way across the Courtyard, I was a little taken aback when I heard the cry, “I hate you!” To which came the bemused but gentle response, “Nah, no you don’t!” As I watched this scene unfold, there was a momentary pause, and then the first student ruefully said, “Yeah, you’re right, I don’t hate you; I just hate going out!”
Hearing this brief verbal exchange caused me to reflect on how easily we let careless words flow out of our mouths. I call them careless because we often fail to see the implications of our words on others. On some occasions, our words can be encouraging, and they are like a pleasant surprise to the recipient, refreshing the soul and encouraging the heart.
However, on other occasions, our careless words can be like weapons of mass destruction, resulting in collateral damage of significant proportions, crushing self-esteem and wounding spirits, causing one to shrink and seek refuge.
But why do we speak in such a manner? Why do we allow careless words to flow from our mouths? Why do we speak so destructively? We often try to excuse ourselves for talking in such a way, deflecting the blame to our temper, or creating a “but if only they hadn’t done that first…” scenario. We are reminded in Matthew 15:18, “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart.”
It would seem that the only way to cure such a situation is to have a total transformation of our heart. The only way we can have our heart transformed in such a manner is by constantly placing our heart (mind and soul) into Jesus’ hands and asking Him, through the ministry of God’s Holy Spirit, to cleanse and purify us.
Just as we choose to be followers of Jesus, we also need to choose to live lives that are directed by Him. As we make this choice, we need to say, “I choose You, Jesus, to direct my heart and to put a guard over my lips so that I will speak in truth, but I will use words that are undergirded by God’s love.” If our lives are characterised by speaking words that are undergirded by God’s love, our words can’t help but bring honor to Him.
Choosing to allow careless words to flow from our mouths is reflective of a heart that is purely focused on oneself; it is a heart preoccupied with self-interest. When we realise that we were created by God to be a caring and concerned people, and when we abandon this divine design for one of self-interest, we are living in a manner contrary to God’s calling on our lives.
Self-interest leads to self-absorption and self-disruption. As Biblical scholar Selwyn Hughes noted, “We have been created in the image of God, and through the scriptures, we know that God exists as Trinity, a relationship not of self-centeredness but other-centeredness.”
By our original design, therefore, we are meant to live shared lives, not focused on ourselves. This is written into our spiritual DNA, so it should be no surprise that when we fail to live other-centered lives, to reach out to others, we invite inner conflict and the disorganisation of our souls.
The reminder of the verse from Matthew I quoted earlier helps us remember that one of the chief ends of Christ’s death on the cross for each of us is to deliver us from ourselves; deliver us from being self-centered! What a gift of release He has bought for each of us via the cross!
May each of us, as individuals and as a community that desires to be followers of Jesus, be known to speak words of truth that are undergirded by the love of Christ. As we live in such a manner, we bring the glory to Jesus that is so rightly His.